Fender-benders in Russia

I try to post tid-bits on Russian life that might provide an interesting or fun glimpse into life here. I know I like to harp on Russian drivers, the lack of order on Russian roads, and the shady nature of Russia's law-enforcement agents. Well, here are some highlights from German blogger, TwoZero (Hat-tip: Siberian Light) that just says it all. Enjoy.

Two Mercedes had crashed into each other and a few other cars seemed to be involved. The drivers and their passengers were standing on the sidewalk discussing the situation. My friend than explained to me, how you handle traffic accidents in Moscow. First, you pull your cell-phone and call support. That may be someone high up in the hierarchy, who sends some loyal cops or some other people to handle the situation for you. It doesn’t matter who has made a mistake, he says. It matters who has the strongest support. I didn’t quite understand what he meant, but about 30 minutes later I should learn and see.

That’s when a black Lada (with black windows) arrived at the scene and 4 black haired people in black leather jackets got out of the car. I didn’t pay much attention when they walked to the group of the discussing parties, but shortly after one of the drivers lays on the ground. First I thought, he fell unconsciousness because of the accident and the stress, but my friend told me, that the other party had “beating” arguments. The victim stayed on the ground for about 15 minutes laying there in the rain, while some people try to get him back on his feet. It has been a true knockout.
By that time some traffic cops have arrived and they must have called backup and an ambulance. Shortly after 2 militia (police) Ladas arrived at the scene. The (I call him) victim is back in his feet and they continue to argue. Than, the beating starts again, but the cops get in between. The victim is obviously bleeding, because he is holding something to his mouth and nose, but now there are other people involved in the beating and it turns out to be a streetfight. The cops arrest 2 of the violent supporters (tha black leather jackets), but when one of them sits in the police car already another driver comes by the police car and gets hit and kicked by him again.

From there on it was silent, apart from some mysterious guy who arrived at the scene later. He was also a supporter of the guy who called the beat-up team. He went straight to the cop in charge (there were many, but he knew exactly who is in charge) and introduced himself. The cop saluted and after a 5 minute chat the cop seemed to have gotten an explanation of what happened from that mysterious supporter, which shortly after went back to his car and drove away with a hot tire. That’s when the ambulance arrived with siren and blue lights on. 3 hours later!! Man, I hope I never have an accident in Moscow (of no kind). I’ll probably die before someone comes to help me.

Fortunately I've never been involved in a serious accident or in an accident that involved guys with "support" (athough I do know what the beat-up guy felt like). I've been in a few literal fender-benders where we might've tapped bumpers. In each case, I tried to calmly discuss insurance information and fault-issues while the other driver just tried to scream, curse and make as much of a scene as possible. My friend told me that this is normal Russian strategy: the more at fault you are, the louder and more wildly you must accuse the other driver. They know that once the police arrive, they may be at fault so they try to make things as unpleasant and convince as many witnesses of their innocence as possible so that the other driver may just accept an "under-the-table" settlement.

In one case I bumped a guy's rear end when he pulled out in front of me and so I got out ready to give him my insurance info and say that I was at fault. He inspects the bumper (which was fine, by the way) and then starts cursing and shouting at me. He then suggests going to a nearby shop where he knows friends who can give him an estimate on the repairs (what, polishing off some black plastic residue?). I agree and then he demands my license so that I won't just "run-off." Fine. We arrive at the shop and when he gets out of his car he is smiling and comes up to me and introduces himself as if we were at a friend's party! He apologizes for his rudeness and says that he didn't know that I was an American (he probably thought I was some illegal immigrant from China or Mongolia). Well, from there things resolved pretty fast. He looks at his bumper again and tells me that there's probably nothing that will be costly (really? what a miracle). He then asks me if I'd be willing to help his wife with English practice since they are hoping to emigrate to Canada. Well I agreed and we had a few phone conversations where his wife got to practice her English and that's the last I ever heard of this incident.

In the other, a lada-driver drifted into my lane as we were crossing a busy intersection (this is what happens when drivers try and build 4 lanes on a 2-lane road). We grazed rear-view mirrors and so he cuts me off and then gets out of the car looking ready to fight. I get out, ready to fight but hoping to settle things more civilly. I ask him if we can pull over to the side of the road where we can park since at the moment we're blocking a big intersection. He then starts screaming about how I'm an idiot, I am blind, I am uncoordinated, and unfit to be behind the wheel. I calmly repeat that we should park safely and then discuss insurance. He screams that insurance is too slow and too expensive to deal with. At this point I'm so desperate to just get out of the intersection and out of this scene (lots of on-lookers by now) that I just blurt out, "fine, how much do you want?' (I knew this was his ploy all along). He yells out 100 rubles but says it in slang. I'm pretty sure he just said 100 rubles (3 bucks) but I want to be sure because it seems ridiculously low. He repeats his demand. I quickly give him a 100 ruble bill, jump into the car and drive away. Oleg laughs and tells me that I should've seen the look on his embarrassed wife's face as she sat in the other car and reminds me that he was clearly wrong and that's why he was so loud and aggressive. 3 bucks well spent is all I can say.