When "birthday" means so much

What a significant moment and an interesting way to process it. It's 11:30, December 11, 2007 and I'm in labor and delivery room #9 ("Room 9" is pretty funny in Korean, by the way) at Baylor hospital. Hanna is about 6 feet away suffering through contractions as nurses and staff put in IV's, extract information, and hover about busily getting her ready to deliver Christopher. The doctor has broken the water and we are now just trying to settle as Hanna awaits her epidural. If things go as planned, Christopher Joon Sik Won will enter this world kicking and screaming sometime on December 12. It will be his birthday and hopefully a very happy one. In a strange twist of fate Christopher will be celebrating his actual birthday on my birthday. I'm turning 38 years old in a few minutes and it's just interesting and weird to think that 38 years ago on this day I was kicking and screaming my own way into this same world. I guess it's natural to think a little bit about life and reflect on things at times like this. I'm such a blessed individual. This will be my third chance to welcome a God-given life into the world. It will most likely be our last chance to see a new-born baby reflect a little bit of Hanna, a little bit of me, and a lot of himself. I won't get to see Hanna in this wonderful light again - I cannot get over the way motherhood just seems to crown a woman with her own brand of glory. I'm sure I'm just seeing creation as God intended with His incredible image reflected therein.
For the last few weeks I've found myself praying more for Christopher. We name him Christpher because it is derived from the Greek phrase, "Christ bearer." It is not a biblical name, but it is a profoundly Christian name (plus we're fortunate that all the Christophers we know are wonderful people). I will be eminently pleased if our Christopher can live up to his name and carry Christ wherever he goes. My prayers have been just that: that Christopher would be a wonderful "jar of clay" carrying within him the greatest and most glorious treasure known to man - Jesus Christ and the life He won at such great cost. I realize how blessed I am that thus far God has been overly gracious in answering so many of our prayers for our first two children. Rachel is growing, as we speak, into a godly woman. So many of the innocent prayers Hanna and I lifted up on her behalf seem to be coming to fruition as we see her loving the Lord and loving to serve others. Several years later we prayed fervently for Caleb - we name him after the Bible's Caleb. A faith warrior so passionate and strong that he went out and claimed God's promises as an elderly warrior. Caleb is a lovable, loving little boy who has God's fingerprints all over him. We can only pray that the Lord would likewise hear our humble prayers for Christopher. They are our children, but really, the last 11 years of parenthood have taught us that Rachel and Caleb are God's children. It is an amazing safety net that God places under us in showing us that He is their Father before I am. I can rest easy knowing that there is a perfect Father looking out for my children when I fall short. When I look at other fathers amongst those I know, I know I don't always measure up. I am not a rich man who can buy my children the world and serve it on a silver platter. I am not the most gifted man who can show my children the greatest wonders. I am not the wisest man who can impart the most amazing knowledge. I am not the most spiritual man who can inspire my children with the heights of my faith. Now and then those "I am not's" threaten to unhinge me and at those times, my own Heavenly Father graciously reminds me that He loves them more than I ever could. He has plans for them that are higher than anything I could ever dream and that He can touch their lives in a way that I could never dare.
Armed with this wonderful knowledge I can anticipate Christopher's arrival with joy and peace instead of fear and trepidation. I will stumble as his dad, but thanfully, my Father loves Christopher thiiiiiis much, with arms open wide as far as the east is from the west. I pray that Christopher, like Rachel and Caleb will love his Father and see his life as the most beautiful of gifts - not to be selfishly held tightly in his own hands, but a beautiful gift to be given on the altar where living sacrifices live and serve the Lord.
One last thought on birthdays as I muse on this very special birthday. I can't help but love the way this birthday comes in the midst of a special season. A season in which even the godless are forced to look around and wonder what could have happened that we make such a big deal out of a certain baby's birth. I love Christmas. I love the songs, I love the sense of cheer in the air, I love the warm traditions and gift-giving. Most of all, I love to be reminded that my Father's love is a rock-solid, concrete love that could be seen in the face of a helpless baby, lying in a manger, crying, cold, and not yet aware of the incredible act of love He would one day perfect on a cruel, dirty cross not far from that little stable.
My birthday is really the last thing on my mind right now. I pray that Christopher will have a great birthday, I thank God for this season in which we celebrate the one birthday that really matters more than any other. Gloria in excelsis Deo, indeed.